“The 2010 Jesse Jackson Awards”

Good evening, family. As I sat and began to contemplate writing this blog, I realized that I am flawed. I am NOT perfect ( never claimed to be), and I’ve hurt people who have trusted, believed, respected, and loved me. It is in this spirit that I present to you : ” The Jesse Jackson Awards for 2010″ ( in no particular order)…(please no hate mail)

The nominees for ” The Decision to End All Decisions”  are :

1. LeBron James

2. Michelle Rhee

3. Chris Bosh

and

4. President Obama

AND The winner of the “Jesse ” is : (no drum roll necessary) – LeBron James!

To quote Chad OchoCinco : C’mon son! Why did you take an hour to decide something that we all knew you were going to do 2 weeks before free agency?! and then to top it all off you decided that it wasn’t about you spitting in the face of an entire region of the country, but you decided that it was about RACE?! LeBron, you can’t be that STOOPID! I’m sorry, that would be giving you WAAAAY too much credit.

The nominees for the “Negro Please” award are:

1. President Obama

2. Kwame Kilpatrick

3. Tyler Perry

4. Antoine Dodson

and

5. Wacka Flacka

and the “Jesse” goes to : In a 5 way tie, ALL of these Negroes have won the “Jesse”…..( I think its self-explanatory)

The nominees for the “Great Expectations” award are :

1. Diggy Simmons

2. Drake

and

3. Steven Guggenheim

 

and the winner of the “Jesse” is : Steven Guggenheim.  Did you think that the “Inconvenient Truth” would be it? Nope, then Mr. Guggenheim proceeds to PISS OFF ALL of the Public School Teachers in America by releasing a movie entitled “Waiting for Superman.” ( It’s a collaborative effort between Mr. Guggenheim, NBC, Michelle Rhee and all of those  lovely people who are enamored with charter schools)

 

These are just the beginning….have fun, add your own, lets start the conversation, people!

 

“Everybody Hates Lists” – Season Finale

everybody's got one...

Good evening, family! As I sat eating my lunch today at work I started to think about the nature of “To Do Lists” and how everyone has them. Yes, while we never ever achieve half the goals on these lists, We all have made a list before whether it be grocery lists, shopping lists, or personal lists…So, I’ve decided to create a list of a few things I would like to do/or see changed before I DIE!! ( I guess you can call it my ” list to end all lists”….(please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times! Thank you and enjoy)

1. Become a social media sensation…(hey, I never said I was going to be humble..LOL)

2. Try and get re-makes of  “Let’s Do It Again”, “Cooley High”, “Cornbread, Earl, and Me”, and ” D.C. Cab”  made!!

3. Hope people realize that Kat Stacks is exactly who we thought she was…..

4. do a voice for an animated movie….

5. pull Brandy’s lace front off. (nuff said)

6. have a sit down with the “Civil Rights All-Stars” ( Al , Jesse, Asa, and Skip) and ask them what the relevance of  “BeerGate” actually was.

7. find the white girl Kobe “diddled” and interview her….

8. Ask Lamar Odom did he lose a bet…

9. start a low-cost organic grocery store, that’s  affordable to low-income families and to the working poor.

10. start making independent films that showcase up and coming film makers that show UNIQUE stories about the daily struggle of African-Americans and their triumphs.

11. develop a TV pilot based on Twitter experiences….

12.  Re-unite the Michigan “Fab 5″ for a charity basketball game

13. have dinner with @mayatheb ,@iamdiddy , and Louis Farrakhan

14. sell out Hue-Man Bookstore when my book comes out.

15. re-make “A Different World” starring my Twitter family…..

16.  host a urltv.tv, grindtime, or LionsDen battle

17. shake Barack Obama’s hand.

18 . Smack Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and Michael Steele

19.  SKYDIVE

20. fight the power……

21. meet the Dalai Lama

22. interrupt the BET Awards

23. try to figure out what the hell Nicki Minaj, Wacka Flocka, and Gucci Mane are ACTUALLY saying….

(To be continued)….Enjoy….

Why are we still sitting at the back of the bus?

Good evening, family. I know I haven’t been around much, but I am back now!! In honor of the Juneteenth celebration that I just ventured to today, I began thinking about my own misadventures as well as why black people continually are “sitting in the back of the bus” ( figuratively and literally)! Some of you are saying,” I sit at the back of the bus because its easier to get off my stop or it’s always crowded in the front.”  While some of you have valid reasons to be at the back of the bus, I’m speaking of a more “holistic” approach and try to get down to the bottom of  “Why?”

Why are we continuing to put ourselves in the back of the proverbial back of the bus? because even though Rosa refused to get up and decided to take a stand, We have continued to disrespect her legacy as well as those who fought for Civil Rights in America.  We continue to sit in the back of the bus every time we pay more attention to “what’s popping!” in “hip hop land” rather than becoming better parents and making sure OUR children are getting the best education and opportunities POSSIBLE! ( you hear that, New York State?!) You disrespect Rosa and sit in the back of the bus, every time you chase “hoes” and “b*tches”, instead of looking for relationships that will make you better as a person. You “sit in the back of the bus” every time you go “rim shopping” instead of saving your money and trying to move out of your momma’s basement!

The blatant disrespect and  refusal to “sit in the front of the bus” is at an ALL TIME HIGH…..for example : When you pay more attention to Diddy, Nicki Minaj/Lil Kim beef , and forgive me , Kat Stacks…you are still sitting in the back of the bus!! You need to be more concerned with doing something to uplift your people and not always be focused on the nonsense that they know will entice you!! “BE MORE” ( Rosa didn’t get arrested for you to continue to stay stuck thinking you are inferior!”

Good night….

“You have been warned! I’m baaaaack!” ( and I’m just getting started)

Deliberate Bullshyt: Making White People Uncomfortable since last week!

Good evening, family…..I know its been a few weeks, but I’m going to start posting more regularly since I’ve got alot more to say. So, I’ve been working on my political activism and trying to become a better person/freedom fighter and in this process I’ve learned a few things about myself. The first thing I learned was that White people don’t like talking about slavery. Why do you ask? White people HATE to be reminded of their ignorance. (Why do you think they don’t like to acknowledge the Middle Passage/Trans Atlantic slave trade?) They are SCARED of the TRUTH, brothers and sisters! I’m currently working on a few projects/ political statements that are going to SHOCK the WORLD! We need to start to empower our children and that my friends/family is MY MISSION! I’m of the opinion that if I can cause 1 child to understand that they are just as good if not better than their white counterparts, then we are on our way to being a unified people.

Please don’t think that just because Barack is in the White House that our situation is going to get SOO much better. Barack is a black man. He needs our help, our activism, our support, our VOICES!! ( F*CK Fox News and every whining crying Republican, get over it!! WE have a BLACK President!) The power, however is still not ours. This is why we have to start making White people uncomfortable. We have to start making information accessible to the people in the ‘hood and in the penthouse. We are losing ourselves. We can’t afford to keep losing. Our future, culture, and children depend on our ability to “make white people uncomfortable”. We must start to let our children know that they are WARRIORS, QUEENS, MATHEMATICIANS, SCIENTISTS, ACTIVISTS, and KINGS! and please don’t let any one tell them any different!

The Truth is coming and the question is: ” Will you be willing to listen when you hear it?”

“Redemption Song” : In honor of Easter

Good morning, family. I know that I’ve been M.I.A. for a few weeks (by my own design). I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past few months and to everyone I let down, disappointed, and hurt, I apologize. I truly am sorry.  This situation has taught me that I need to focus my efforts  on making myself happy and achieving my goals and dreams and not creating someone who I think everyone wants me to be.  I am the “blogger formerly known as @elhafiz”, I enjoy writing, working with children with developmental delays, traveling, trying new restaurants, and trying to re-establish the “soul” of my people! ( through revolutionary tactics, if necessary) It is this spirit that I ask to be forgiven. I would love the opportunity to redeem myself and show that I’m better than what I’ve shown myself  to be over the past few weeks…… Thank you for your time….Happy Easter! ( don’t eat too many chocolate bunnies or marshmallow peeps)

Finding Tupac: revolution road

Good morning, family.  As I sit in my apartment ( debating on whether to make snow angels or not ) , I remembered a conversation from one of my friends (who shall remain nameless , LOL) about the fact that Tupac may be ALIVE! While I laughed at the conversation, I realized she might be on to something.

We all can recite our  favorite Tupac song, movie role, or favorite story. Maybe this is why we don’t want to let Tupac go. I mean, white people have Elvis, Sasquatch, and can see Jesus in waffles, why can’t we have one or two? ( Sammy Davis Jr. being the second) Tupac lived the life that people make movies out of!  He was homeless, mother was a drug addict, father and godfather were both members of the Black Panther Party, engaged in a heated rivalry with one of his former best friends, and continued to promote the awareness of his people! Pac was definitely an “original”

Tupac was an avid reader. He read “The Prince” by Machiavelli and it was because of this book that many of his followers and fans believe he is still alive! Tupac is still releasing records and he’s been dead for a few years now.  Thank God for his tireless work ethic and ability to turn his pain into POWER!!

Through the magic of television, I think I’ve found Tupac…

I know, I know. I felt the same way. After hearing the voice inflections, the song topics, and thinking that I’ve never seen his body or been to his grave site….I sort of inclined to believe that Tupac may in fact, be ALIVE!

Pac was a true revolutionary. He fought himself, others, and the establishment in an attempt to try to affect change. Pac was what we should all aspire to be.

The same way that I spoke about Richard Pryor in my previous post, I will say that Tupac is legendary. He made us think, laugh, cry, imagine, and understand his pain and struggle.

Maybe people keep looking for and claiming Pac is alive because NO ONE that has come since him has spoken to us like he had, or told us that it was “OK” to be who we were and not to be afraid of what others might think. Just like him, We all are ORIGINALS! Don’t die copying others!

So,  is Pac alive? Yes, but in spirit only. His music is timeless and so is his message. Will there ever be another TuPac? NOPE. Do we have capable people willing to “step into his shoes”? Yes….they just need to come out of hiding and SPEAK UP! The so-called “conscious” rappers need to stop being scared of the “young Thundercats” with the skinny jeans on, who are not lyrical, and start DOING something…….”find your inner Tupac!” Be about something instead of just talking….I don’t know about you guys, but I believe its going to take more 48 hours to find Tupac or even his successor! But, I guess I’ll travel this road until we come face to face.

Peace

Remembering Richard: The Legacy Virus

Good evening, family. Last night as I sat watching “The Mack” on TVOne, I realized while watching Richard Pryor that we have ALOT to live up to! Richard Pryor was quite possibly the greatest comedian that ever stood in front of a microphone stand. Black people and Richard Pryor go together like peanut butter and jelly. We can all name one of his classic skits,jokes, or characters that have permanently become part of the fabric of America. Much like us, Richard was flawed. He had his vices, addictions, and other demons, but he overcame them, just like we must learn to do.  In my honest opinion, Black people have all become injected with ” the Legacy virus”.

What is “The Legacy virus”,  you ask? This virus is one that attacks the very sensibilities of the African-American people. The “victims” become “starstruck” and avoid all social causes and lose the ability to see past themselves. Richard was infected for quite some time with this deadly virus! He only saw the money he was making, the cocaine he was smoking/ free basing, and the women he was sleeping with! (sounds eerily familiar to the majority of the artists that are in hip hop, doesn’t it?) Richard Pryor got help for his affliction. He decided to take a stand for a cause: MS. He decided that even though the disease was destroying his body, he wouldn’t let it take his mind! ( Black people, take NOTES!!) Don’t let the virus destroy you! We are sloooowly dying and we couldn’t be HAPPIER (and that’s sad.) Richard used humor to mask his pain, much in the same way that black people have done for the past 400 years. Richard made us laugh, cry, think, scream, and made you want to sneak and listen to his albums when your parents told you not to! We have always been a people of laughter, but I for one am done laughing….Richard’s “take no prisoners” attitude demands that we fight this virus with every fiber of our being! We deserve better, so let’s get to doing better! Richard would want us to. We need to start fighting this virus like Richard fought MS, the censors, racists, and people who’d never seen a black man on TV besides Flip Wilson.

Thank you, Rich.

“I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with it. The big struggle is to keep your head clear enough to think.” – Richard Pryor

Thanks for listening…See ya in heaven.

Retrospect for Life: “A Fizzy Story”

Happy Birthday

RIP, Brother Bell

Good afternoon, people. Before I get started, let me say, ” Happy Birthday, Huey”. I hope everyone is having a safe and productive week. I’ve been trying to decide what to write and I honestly had a few things swimming around in my head. I thought about telling you guys about me being born with cerebral palsy and how this was a MAJOR reason for me trying to shut the naysayers up, ( nah, too corny), paying homage to BGLO’s (Black Greek Letter Organizations), (too easy..still possible), and then I finally decided I was going to comment on the Federal Government’s “pardoning” of the NYC police officers who gunned down Sean Bell.
Sean Bell was GUNNED down the day he was supposed to get married. Three of the five detectives involved in the “murder” were later acquitted and basically not held responsible for their actions. After the mayor of the city comes and says he thinks “excessive force” was used and then NOTHING happens…it’s sad…No justice. No peace. RIP Sean Bell. As I stated earlier, via Twitter: “I have never been more ashamed of the Federal Government then I am right now..” Who is going to fight for the black man? It’s becoming painfully obvious that we aren’t going to be protected by the same people who are “sworn to protect us” and it’s obvious that the rules are different (depending upon the color of your skin..yea I said it) Black men have been at a SUPREME disadvantage from the time we were in chains! Yes, while we have had our freedom fighters, advocates, and “superheroes”…we were still beaten, lynched, spat on , disrespected and made mockery of! Who’s going to stand up for us now? Al? Jesse? or another set of “Civil Rights All-Stars?”
I’m of the opinion that we need to start looking out for our own….like it was in the 60′s, 70′s, and early 80′s..”we need our villages back”…We need more community activists, more people WILLING/UNAFRAID to make noise about the senseless profiling, killing, stupidity, and lack of basic human necessities that are running rampant in the black community. Who’s going to stand up? You don’t need to go crazy by taking to the streets ala “the Watts riots”, but we need to show that this disrespect will no longer be tolerated!

“If violence is wrong in America, violence is wrong abroad. If it is wrong to be violent defending black women and black children and black babies and black men, then it is wrong for America to draft us, and make us violent abroad in defense of her. And if it is right for America to draft us, and teach us how to be violent in defense of her, then it is right for you and me to do whatever is necessary to defend our own people right here in this country.” -Malcolm X

“So, I wrote this love letter right before my classes.”

Good evening, family. Hope you are having a great day and great weekend. While making the rounds on Twitter, I saw ALOT of people swearing off Valentine’s Day! Since, I’m not opposed to celebrating, I thought I’d write a “love letter” to Black Women. Let’s see where this goes…

Let me say this so the WORLD hears me, “I LOVE Y’ALL LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE!” Light, dark, thick, skinny, glasses, contacts, long hair, short hair…its all good with me! It gets no better than YOU!

*cues “Soul Sister” by Bilal*

Sisters, you have gone through so much: slavery, forced family separation, the disruptive nature of “Reagan-omics”, the incarceration of the black male and the chaos that this has inevitably caused and you are still standing as beautiful as EVER!!!

Yes, the First Lady is a SISTER!

You have stood up even when the “men” in your life have let you down. You have stood up when you were DEAD tired and when you had to feed your kids. We know you need us and we know we WILL need to do better to assist you.

Thank you, Maya

Sisters, I love y’all…be clear on that. You are the “queens of the universe”, the “mother of the earth”, and don’t let ANYBODY tell you any different!

You are not:

NO!!

You are :

Happy Valentine’s Day! from a brother who will FOREVER be a fan!

“You Told Harpo To Beat Me!” : Revisionist history

Good evening, family. I want to take this opportunity to say that America loves an opportunist or any white person that says “the n word” ( Asher Roth and John Mayer)…where is the full fledged outrage, the picket signs, Al and Jesse? ( I don’t think they could clear their busy schedules!) Ok,ok…moving forward
As I sat, trapped in my house (due to the most snow I’ve seen in recent history) I decided to have a little fun. Bear with me, please and thank you.
Think back to “The Color Purple”, Alice Walker’s famous book turned into one of the greatest movies ever about courage, determination, and female empowerment. However, I would like to speak to Alice Walker about re-making this film classic and the actors and actresses I would like to see play them….here we go…
Starring as Mr. — T.K. Carter

In case you don’t know who T.K. Carter is, he played the father on “The Corner”, as well as being on a lot of 80′s sitcoms. I would just say that he looks like he could play a miserable,old, broken down,old slave and a womanizer.
Starring as Ms. Celie — A.J. Johnson

I know, I know. You must be saying,” but A.J.’s beautiful? She’s no Whoopi! =/ ” My response is A.J. is a highly talented actress and if Halle Berry ( yea, that Halle Berry) can get an Oscar for getting her back “blown out” by Billy Bob Thornton, AJ Johnson can play an “ugly chick”!
Starring as Nettie — Jennifer Hudson

My choice of J. Hud is simple…She’s never played the “pretty sister”. She’s from the Chi, so we know she’s “thicker than a Snicker”, but she has never been afforded the role of “pretty girl”. In her breakout role, she played the “fat girl with the BIG voice” and was therefore used and tossed away like nothing…then in “The Secret Life of Bees”, she was a GOT DAYUM runaway SLAVE!! (chasing Dakota Fanning’s retarded looking azz all over creation!) Let J. Hud play the “pretty girl!” I’d give you your shot….
Starring as Harpo– Don Cheadle

Don Cheadle? Yes, Don Cheadle. If you haven’t seen “Devil in a Blue Dress” or “Hotel Rwanda”, you need to KYS!! Don Cheadle will not only bring some “star power” to the “new” Color Purple, but will also make Harpo more than a foot note in this film….beside a few quotables.
Starring as “Shug Avery” — Michelle Williams

I know, I may be pulling a ringer out of my hat, but not only is Michelle Williams a talented singer, she MIGHT just be the best member of the group formally known as Destiny’s Child. I believe she would take this role and she could be this year’s ” Precious” (no offense)
Starring as Sophia– Mo’Nique ( Ugh…)

I am picking Mo’Nique’s loud ass reluctantly…I don’t really know anyone else who could play the role. While, I have yet to see “Precious”, I do agree that Mo’Nique delivered a performance of a lifetime (from what I’ve been told). It is because of that reason alone that I would pick her to play Miss Sophia.
Alright, I know what SOME of you are thinking. Where’s Beyonce? Where’s Rihanna? Where’s Terrence Howard? Lance Gross? I mean…HELL, if I was filming a re-make of “The Muppets Take Manhattan”, I’d have Rihanna as “Jane”, the lead singer of the Electric Mayhem, Beyonce would be “Fozzie Bear”, and Lance Gross would be “Rowlf” the piano playing dog! (See, everybody WINS and no hard feelings!)

Do you agree or disagree? either way, I’m @elhafiz and “You’ve been warned..” *evil laughter*
for your viewing pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXvV2ALV0bg
JOIN me, @youngmclayton, and @tracyreneejones on the SoapBoxChronicles on Wednesdays @ 10PM on blogtalkradio.com !